« Ooh the Pain | Main | But I Don't Want One! »
August 16, 2004
How To Make A Baby Mad?
Give them a truly moronic name.
I am continually amazed at the names (and the spellings) that I come across at work. I mean, you just can't DO that! It's crazy! But, apparently, there are no rules when it comes to names. You can make them up, disregard all natural phonetics, and have as much fun with them as you want.
I like the cheerful ones. Like Sparkle. Or Peaceful. And Lucky. Rainbow is a classic. Or you could save yourself some time and go ahead and name your baby Hippie. Or Tree-Hugger. Either one will work.
And spelling? Pshaw! Do what you want! Kurismah, excellent alternative to Charisma. And Tiphuknee is so much lovelier than Tiffany. Twyalite is nice for Twilight, plus you get bonus points for the hippie factor. Kennedy, nice presidential ring to it, but far too bland. Name them Kinnadeigh. Shake it up a little.
Also, do away with vowels whenever possible. That's fun. Conklqulio. Wish I had more exmpls, bt is hrdr thn it lks.
Product endorsement? Go for it. Puma. Espn (pronounced Espin). Finesse? Why not? Loreal? Perfect. Velveeta is a little out there, but so be it. Camry? Sweet.
Let's have some fun with these kids, by george.
But, all joking aside, please tell me that Dopplar Radar is just an urban legend. I simply cannot believe there's some poor kid out there with that name.
If there is, then Dopplar, I'm really sorry. You have my permission to legally change your name and kick your parents in the shins.
The Daily | By WonderGirl | 7:57 PM
Comments
LOL! But seriously, you are right. What are people thinking?
Carl
Posted by: Carl at August 16, 2004 9:41 PM
I had a friend in grad school who swore that the twins Orangello and Lemonjello went to her high school.
Posted by: Jonathan at August 17, 2004 11:11 AM
Jonathan- your friend in grad school must have went to the same school that my friend's mother taught at. And they must have been born on the same day and same hospital that another friend was born at. What a coincidence.
Posted by: ashley at August 17, 2004 1:35 PM
lol... my best friend in 7th grade... was named Wendy Storm... her sister was Sandy Storm.. and their other sister was Raynelle Storm...
I thought it was so cool... but she didn't...
Posted by: Aunt Vickie at August 17, 2004 7:03 PM
P.S. the orange looks a little like some kind of alien about to pop out of its pod...
Posted by: Aunt Vickie at August 18, 2004 5:40 PM
The ultimate site for stupefyingly bad names has to be Bad Baby Names at http://www.rock103.com/drakeandzeke/_bbn/index.html
They post a new one most every day, and claim that all are legit. Here are but a few of the hundreds (thousands?) they have:
Jewvenyle Mononon Brown (2/16/04)
Applejack Ellifritt (4/5/01)
About Face Turner (1/24/03)
Posted by: captnkurt at August 19, 2004 8:26 AM
