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November 14, 2006
Loose Thoughts
I've been sitting here for about five minutes, staring at the blank screen, trying to decide what to write. And I got nothing. Sorry.
I could post my to-do list, but that's boring.
I could write something sentimental about Girl's Weekend with my six year old, but I was recently told I'm a bit dramatic, so I'm pouting.
I could put up my pictures from the weekend, but I'd have to reinstall my camera software on the computer and I'm too lazy right now.
I could write about the changing leaves, the sense of Christmas coming, and the increasing movements from the wee babe... but that's all feeling a little too Chicken Soup for the Soulish.
I'll tell you what I'd like to be doing right now. I'd like to go catch a movie and then go Christmas shopping. Oh, and I'd like to go shopping for me, too, while I'm at it. I'm just saying. I need some new pants. Since it's a fantasy day, might as well include a little something for moi. Some gourmet ice cream would hit the spot, too.
-sigh-
I'm feeling ansy.
I like B'ham- you guys have heard me going on about it enough to know that. We've been here six months now, and I'm at that point where I should be settling in a little more. But I'm holding back. I don't know if it's the pregnancy or what, but part of me just doesn't want to put my roots down all the way. Ultimately, we want to live back in King Pen's hometown- that's our goal. We thought we'd be here in B'ham for at least three to five years... but that timeline is feeling less satisfactory to me these days. I wanna go home. I want the benefit of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents! Maybe it's that I'm a little spooked by the idea of being on our own with four kids... maybe I wish our support system was a bit closer at hand. But it's not all that. I miss being around people who know me, and love me. I realize that is partly due to reestablishing ourselves in a new town- it takes time to get to know people and feel like you "belong". It actually takes work and effort on my part, and I'll be honest, I haven't tried all that hard. And we've moved enough for me to know that at the 6 month mark, I get pretty homesick. But this feels different. I'm tired of being transitional. Ya know? I want a house, in a town that we won't leave again. I want friends I don't have to worry about abandoning in a few years. I want to be in for the long haul. Part of me doesn't want to invest myself here, because I know it's not forever.
Can we stop now? Can we be done working so hard to accomplish our goals and just reach them now? We've spent five years in school, and then how many more here just so that we can move home? We want our kids to have the extended family we both had as children, but by the time we do it, I'm afraid we'll have missed so much. I don't wanna miss anything else.
Well, I didn't mean to go off on that topic. But I guess it's been on my mind more with the holidays coming up. I'll end here... no moping for me today.
Have a good Tuesday, everybody!
The Daily | By WonderGirl | 2:30 PM
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Comments
Were you referring to our conversation when you mentioned someone said you were dramatic?
Posted by: Cousin at November 15, 2006 12:23 AM
I'm sorry, but names have been withheld to protect the identity of persons involved.
Posted by: WonderGirl at November 15, 2006 10:49 AM
If dramatic is the word used to describe you... then your kind of drama is something all of us need a lot more of in our lives...
You are thoughtful, insightful, wise and wonderful, silly, funny, smart, creative, childlike, introspective, beautiful, blessed and blessing, caring, giving, generous, artistic, imaginative, faithful, honest, true, beautiful, unique, valuable,cherished, honorable, desirable, beloved, wanted, needed, revered, spiritual, calm, excitable, trusting and trustworthy, believable, (I'm running out of words and I'm not nearly done with all the wonderful blessed reality of who you are)...
I'm so sorry you're homesick... and wish I was close enough to just pop over at lunch and give you a big hug... hang in there, sweet pea... home is around the corner...
Posted by: SPIDERLILLIES at November 15, 2006 11:32 AM
p.s. oh, all right... I'm begging... d you wantme to beg... okay... I'm begging... pleeeeeeeeeease be dramatic and write something sentimental about girl's weekend with Czarina... and promise me never to let anyone stifle the loveliness that flows from within you... the world is richer for all its joy and beauty, and even its moments of sorrow or anger... for nothing is new under the sun... and you should never lose the courage to speak and share the things that are deep inside us all...
p.s. and that being said... I'm going back to blogging, too... so there!
Posted by: spiderlilles at November 15, 2006 11:36 AM
Oh, Aunt V-- I'm messing with Joey. Thank you for the nice thoughts, but I was just giving him a hard time. :)
Posted by: WonderGirl at November 15, 2006 12:03 PM
lol... doesn't change a thing... every single thing I said is true multiplied...
Posted by: spiderlillies at November 15, 2006 1:03 PM
Perhaps I was careless in my vocabulary selection in our conversation. "Dramatic" was not the correct description for you; "sentimental" is, though. Neither are bad, by the way.
Posted by: Cousin at November 15, 2006 4:26 PM
