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November 27, 2006
Ending Credits?
There are days when I think maybe I've blogged as much as I can. But I am too scared to close the door on it, because maybe that means I'm admitting that I've reached the ceiling of my creativity. But, let's face it, this blog has stunk for a while. I don't write much, and what I do write is mundane. It's more of an update email than it is a creative outlet right now. I don't know what to do with it.
Hm.
I believe that I have more to write. But I don't know if this is the right time in my life to pursue it. And, actually, I'm okay with that. I struggled with it for a while, a little taste of a midlife crisis, I guess. But then I realized that what I am doing, as every day and boring as it may seem occasionally-- is important. It's vital. I can't live my life like I'm watching the clock, waiting for the kid's bedtime. I have to be invested and present in this thing called motherhood. It's not easy. Sheesh, that's putting it lightly. I'll be honest- there are days I wonder what the heck I was thinking, becoming a mother. There are days I am way too selfish, way too tired, to be any good at it. I am as human as the next person, and it doesn't come naturally to put other people ahead of myself. But that's part of the job. I don't always do it as well as I should, but each day is a blank slate. I find hope in the fact that tomorrow I can do better than I did today. And for the bad days, there are still the good ones, when I look around and am proud of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.
But no matter what kind of day I'm having, I am always grateful, and I know that I've been blessed. I realize how fleeting these days are. And I am content with the choices I've made- including putting aside some of my own personal pursuits while I concentrate on the task at hand.
Anyway, all that to say, I question if this blogging thing has come to an end for me. I can accept the fact that it has evolved over the years, as I have. But maybe as I focus more on my family, there is less of me to give here. It's something that's been on my mind lately, as I must soon divide myself even further, from three parts into four.
Don't worry, this isn't my announcement of retirement. It's just me, airing out some thoughts a little. We'll see how it plays out in the months to come.
Okay, I'm off to check the cornbread. Smells yummy! Enjoy your suppers.
The Daily | By WonderGirl | 3:05 PM
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Comments
It's mundane to you, but not to us.
I think, if you put them all together, they'd make a terrific book... one that folks would find very difficult to put down... there is an honesty and purity in your writing that grips me... a peep into the life of a wife and mother... a sister and daughter... a friend and neighbor... that touches us all... you find a way to put onto paper the things that each of us feels... whether it be the heart-wrenching pain of trial by fire... and the agonies of addiction in the family... or the fluttering wings of joy unspeakable... and the delights of motherhood and watching your children become who they are... whether it be the occasional cliff-hanger of what-next, what-next... or what you call the mundane of "hello bills, back so soon?"
Don't sell yourself short... you need to be published...
Posted by: spiderlillies at November 28, 2006 8:58 AM
If you were to leave, I'd miss you. 'Nuff said.
Maybe you feel a little blah about it at the moment. And maybe you aren't posting tantalizing excerpts from five different novels knocking around in the brain. But I still enjoy it!
I enjoy the kids and knowing that coffee is helping another mama get through the day. At this point, it's about the camraderie of survival and of awesome kiddos. It's the humanity we love.
No, we're not "She's a flight risk." But, that's okay. We're human beings, and I love you for it.
Posted by: Jeannette at November 28, 2006 12:28 PM
I don't want to even imagine just how bleak each day would be without a word from you. You truly do need to be published, the rest of the world is missing out on something wonderful by not having access to your words. How about if I just pack up and move out that way to help with the kids so you can devote more time to writing.....sounds like a plan to ponder!
Posted by: auntj at November 28, 2006 4:04 PM
I think you are hilarious. When I stumbled on your blog from J'net's I was hooked! You are so creative and so dedicated to loving your kidsl, that is encouraging to the rest of us who are home all day struggling to do the same. So, Thanks!
Posted by: jonesey at November 29, 2006 9:08 AM
this saddens me. you'll get it back, its writers block,..i'll be brainstorming to come up with a new spark of interest for you.
Posted by: britt at November 29, 2006 7:18 PM
Oh please don't go! I love reading your blog -- it's one of my favorites. I like to turn on the computer and read your blog when my kids are driving me nuts!!
Posted by: Alison at December 1, 2006 2:40 PM
