« Needing | Main | Last Confession of the Week »
November 8, 2007
All is Flux
One thing I noticed after having four children is an increased tolerance for kids. Yeah, yeah, don't be a smartypants. What I mean is, for extra kids. It is a rare day when I don't have a few extra knuckleheads running around my house. It just doesn't seem to phase me anymore! As a matter of fact, I'm happy to have them here because then my children are occupied, and I can keep my eyes on 'em at the same time. Everybody knows that at 5:30, it's time to go home, and there's no fuss over it. They know they'll be welcome back tomorrow.
This is not a skill I was born with. Seriously. The idea of being in charge of half a dozen children at one time was slightly horrifying. I babysat a lot as a teenager, but that was for money. When you're sixteen and convinced that social extinction awaits the unfashionable- yeah, you'll put up with a lot to get those Guess jeans. But it was never my "calling". It was more a matter of necessity than anything else. I'm not even sure I liked kids back then.
Gee, that sounds bad.
Anyway. So, that's why this whole new, kid lovin' me is surprising.
I've changed.
Wha? Again? For some reason, it never fails - change always shocks me! I always think I'm done, I'm finally all of who I'll be in this life. And I never am! You'd think I'd get that by now.
I remember being in my early twenties, and feeling quite smug with myself, so sure that I had finally "arrived". I had it pretty well figured out. Well, imagine my surprise by my late twenties, when lo and behold, I had changed again! Turns out I had NOT learned everything there was to know at 21. I laughed fondly at that silly girl, quite smug AGAIN in my late-ish 20's, thinking, well, NOW I've got the goods on this whole thing called Life. I've got it pegged for sure.
But, no. Hello thirties! More experiences, more changing. Looking back (with wise eyes, no doubt- ha!) on my twenties, I see how far I've come. So now... what do I do? I think surely THESE are the years I will finally achieve Me-Dom!
*rolling eyes
I'll never learn. The thing is, you're never done. You never stop changing, you never get the "whole" picture... because we live life one chapter at a time. Who knows what and who I'll be when I get to the end! There are so many years ahead, so many changes waiting in those unturned pages.
But that's the fun of it, isn't it? Surprise endings are always the best.
Anyway, those are just some random thoughts on a Thursday night. Time for Leno... and a dip into the Halloween bucket.
G'night, ya'll. Sleep tight.
The Daily | By WonderGirl | 11:20 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://atlblogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/11837
Comments
to shamlessly borrow from someone else's words... it's the never-ending story... and sometimes you know where it's going... or think you do... and sometimes you don't... and sometimes you can paddle the boat into the current you want to follow... and sometimes you crash downriver out of control... but it's always an adventure... always amazing... life is good... even when it's hard...
Posted by: spiderlillies at November 12, 2007 11:24 AM
i'm way ahead of you in years, and still waiting to feel like i have finally grown up, maybe we never do truly get done with this growing up thing. maybe we just feel kind of grown up sometimes when we are in a situation where we have more experience than anyone else. on a less complicated note, i love that your home is the one where kids want to congregate. and you are so right when you say that it actually does make it easier for you when your children's friends are over, that's how it was for me while Gatlin was at home, they kept him busy and that gave me "free" time in a sense.
Posted by: janet at November 12, 2007 1:05 PM
