« Today's Burning Question | Main | The Dark Side »
January 28, 2008
Library SOS
You know us. We move to a new town, and we may not have a home phone connected yet, but we can't get library cards fast enough. We are a family that needs a free, steady, incoming flow of books and movies and music at all times.
So, we checked out our local branch here in Pineville, and it was S A D.
Inhospitable, even.
Walking in, there was a dead bird on the sidewalk. I should have taken this an omen. No life can exist here. There were no other cars in the parking lot, at all. Hm.
So we come to the front door, which barely looks like an entrance at all, and it's plastered with signs, the biggest being: "Due to customer complaints, we request that you DRESS APPROPRIATELY. Patrons wearing clothes that reveal an excess of skin will be asked to leave." Mm. That's welcoming.
(As an aside-- What are we in for here? For one, I just can't see this as being an actual problem in this town-- as there are only five other people living here under 35, and there seems to be an "understanding" about the liberal use of camo clothing.)
Anyway, after making a mad dash back to the car to cover up my hoochie booty, (kidding) - I open the door, and there are so many signs, you can barely see the books.
"As of Jan. 1st, social websites like Facebook, and Myspace are banned on Library computers."
"Children under 18 MUST be accompanied by an adult at ALL times. Strictly Enforced." (okay, not 18. But you could tell they really wanted that one.)
"Tropic of Capricorn has been removed from the shelf, for obvious reasons."
"To the Person Who Blacked Out Page 144 of The Diary of Anne Frank- Thank You."
"Restrooms Not Available To The Public"
"As of February 15th, this branch will revert back to the traditional card catalog, and the computers will only have typing programs available."
"Blah, blah, blah, More Rules"
As if the plethora of signs wasn't enough to suck the fun out of the public library, then the children's section alone would do it. It was about as unfriendly a place as you could get. It was the Anti-Children's Section. Overly tidy- as if a book had never even left the shelf, and no colorful, childlike ANYTHINGS. And the librarian was dogging my every step, mentioning two or three times that the children should NOT reshelve their own books. -sigh- Mkay. I get it. Let me take my four thousand, disruptive children and we're getting the hippity hoppity out of here!
I'm kinda doubting there's a storytime.
I did manage to find a few books for them (one on Good Manners, and the other on Canyons of America). I searched quickly, and quietly, so as not to disturb the other non-existent patrons. So, then I go get a few books for myself, and... well... let's just say that they had almost every V.C. Andrews book in large print. And not much else. (And hey, let's be honest- there isn't a VC Andrews book left I didn't read in the 8th grade. Ew.)
-sigh-
Okay. That was one branch though, and I'm holding out hope that we just picked the worst one first.
I'm not being insulting here, really... it's just, I guess I'd gotten ridiculously spoiled in Birmingham. Our libraries there, especially the Hoover Library, were ROCKIN'! You just would not believe how awesome they were. I wanted to LIVE at that library, but it would have been way out of my price range.
I can live without a lot of things, people. Cable. Cellphone reception. Shampoo. Alcohol. (Did I mention Pineville is DRY?) But I can't make it in a world without books. Oh, the horror!
Somebody, do something! Help me!
Where's Captain O.G. Readmore when you need him?
Oh wait, I guess that "No Library Mascots Allowed" sign scared him away.
The Daily | By WonderGirl | 10:54 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://atlblogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/12003
Comments
I am so sorry! If you took my books away, I would bleed. I just know that I would, so I feel your pain. Here's hoping that you just visited the really bad branch.
Posted by: meghan at January 28, 2008 8:35 PM
awwwwwwwww... that's terrible... i hope the other branch(es) are better... how about i enroll you in the "aunt vickie book club"...
Posted by: aunt vickie at January 28, 2008 10:01 PM
thanks for making me laugh... so sorry about your trip to the library. we miss you in bham!
Posted by: jenny at January 28, 2008 10:22 PM
You are so funny! I'll have you know I shared your story with one of my friends here and she could not stop laughing! Thanks for making my Monday! Give me a call next time you head this way!
Posted by: keni at January 29, 2008 1:14 PM
hey, sorry about the lack luster
facility. We too have lived in areas
with not so great ones. I had to give
you our favorite homeschool
resource online books. Go to tumblebooklibrary.com
User name MSE/
password /Books It is our favorite.
I really enjoy your blogs.
Hope you enjoy your new place.
Maybe other branch will be better.
Posted by: melissa at January 29, 2008 11:40 PM
Alexandria is not "Dry". Oh my goodness! Any two-bit gas station has rows of "booze". It's insane!
Have you shopped at Super One for Groceries. That seems to be the place to shop in the area for good deals. Also, have you encountered the "Circle" in Alec? Worst traffic design for a city ever! I think the traffic engineers stopped at one of the gas stations before they drew it. "Hmmmm, let's forget all these roads and just draw a circle.....here. Okay, see ya tomorrow." See ya sis, and hang in there!
Posted by: David Jacks at January 30, 2008 9:23 AM
I know-- Alexandria is sure making up for Pineville's dry ordinance. There are drive through daquiri stores competing SIDE BY SIDE!
Nirvana.
;)
Posted by: WonderGirl at January 30, 2008 9:42 AM
WG-Feeling your pain...actually you make me thankful for our own situation! I moved from a Big City (Philly) to a small town where our living room is bigger than the kids' section! They will only let me check out 30 books at a time and I found out yesterday there is a limit to holds! Kinda puts a damper on the ol' homeschool. But we're hangin' tough and it sounds like we live in library bliss compared to P-ville. I hope it gets better for you. Maybe you should give the librarian your blog address, I'm sure once they get to know you they will beg HeroBoy to reshelve books. Thanks for the hearty laugh today, it really was out loud. (esp...the liberal use of camo!!)
Posted by: jonesey at January 30, 2008 1:18 PM
