my 5 yr old Josiah is going through some of the same. He has always responded very well to 'the rod' so to speak, and consequences were understood. I expect him to respond to my words, because he knows the consequences to not, but lately he has been over the top! All of your feelings are valid and I have felt the same way. Am I not punishing him fast enough? Are my words becoming weak? I think part of it is he's bored. He needs constructive social and learning time which the summer does not always lend. I am looking forward to Kindergarden even though I will miss him terribly. We've decided to send him to school to combat some of the authority awareness. I want him to learn who's who. Don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling, I'm a teacher for homeschoolers.

Anywho, the long days, the boredom, my laziness maybe :S Needless to say I am praying for my boy too. I'm not into the 'phase' thing either, that drives me nuts. But our pediatrician said at his Kindergarden check-up that boys tend to have a tougher time getting all the rules right away at school, and to not let it worry you. That was encouraging, because it didn't make me think I had to 'let it go' but I did need to let him grow and understand at his pace.

Our little Hero's will come back and be little men to admire very soon. Keep the fire burning!

When I read the sentence about you being able to see the stubbornness in HeroBoy, a thought occurred to me: that's the nature of the flesh. The nature of the flesh is to be stubborn, to want what it wants, to resist authority.

Not having any little boys, I can't really relate to that part. However, a very good friend of mine (who raised one of each and who also has a degree in child psychology) once told me . . . "Good raisin' don't always help and bad raisin' don't always hurt".

Just keep praying for them. That's all you can do.

I am hoping you figure it out as I am sure I will be turning to you in a few years about it too.

I think your dilegience and close attention to the matters of the heart are just what heroboy needs.

While mine is only almost four, I too find it much more difficult than my daughter was to have him keep to rules and expectations. I also have worried the same thoughts and feel like you that it should not be excused as "boy" behavior. I can't deny though that the boy behavior is there and is more stubborn and finds comical all the "noises" us girls flinch at the thought of. That being said we started the system from the book the christian 1 2 3 magic. It works great. We also started a chore schedule and reward for good behavior system for him. I have found over the last few months that the more i catch him being good and make a big deal over it the less he acts out. Boys seem to respond so different to things. I know that your heart is full of so much love and above all that is what leads to a sense of mutual respect. It might come later for some than others like in my house but as long as it comes. He is still young also, I found out from our developmental ped. that most children do not really master cause and effect until around ten years of age. If that is so I could see why it takes so long for them to understand how consequences work and why it is better to behave. Give it time and prayer and all will be okay in the long run. I will pray that you like I have the patience we need for the wait.

Hello Shannon,
We're back in Bham after our trip to Quantico, Virginia. Our son, John (#4 child, 3rd son) graduated from Officer Candidate School USMC and Commissioned as a 2nd LT. We have 4 sons and 1 daughter...ages 29 (male, married), 27 (male, married) 24 (female, single) 22 (male, single) and 20 (male, single) I am here to testify that guys really are different from girls and guys themselves are individuals. SO, you have to remember not only their masculinity, but also their individuality as you are raising them. It sounds to me that you are doing a fantastic job with your children. I just want to suggest that as you begin the rigors of homeschooling, that you might not try to keep everyone rigidly on schedule as you have planned. Remember that generally speaking boys' fine motor skills develop later than girls' so they need a little more time to operate "outside of the workbooks"....more wiggle time.

I believe one of the main character traits needed for moms in raising boys is perseverance....never give up on trying to teach them to make wise choices. It is very important to be flexible in varying your discipline techniques, especially when one method isn't producing the fruit you hope for. Try to remember to choose your battles carefully. Have you read the article by Peter Leithart: 5 Maxims for Parents?
http://theheritageconnection.com/articles.htm . I recommend it.

We all have our successes and failures in parenting, but in every effort, remember that it is always GOD who gives the increase in any of our lives. Never stop praying and working to win their hearts for righteousness....HE will help you.

Thanks for your honest and fun blog posts. I enjoy reading them. Come to see us in Birmingham.

Your friend,
Cindy Dougla

Your struggle with Heroboy sounds a lot like what I'm going through with my 3-1/2 year old daughter. She doesn't have any siblings to pick on, but she's just gotten to a stage (dare I call it that?!) where she's constantly balking at doing things she'd always cheerfully done in the past - bathing, eating, dressing, brushing teeth, going to bed - anything that isn't a choice, she resists. First she whines, then she cries, then she screams. The other night you would have thought I was murdering her, but I was simply giving her a bath against her will. We've punished her (time out or bedtime without stories), we've tried to make the tasks fun (bath toys, stories with bedtime, etc.) and give her a choice when we can ("Would you like to wear this outfit or this outfit?"), but some things just have to happen whether she likes it or not, and I'm at a loss as to how to deal with her when she gets like this. I don't know if she's modeling other kids she's observed at day care, or acting out to get attention (I often feel guilty as a working mom that I don't get to spend more time with her), or simply testing the limits to see what she can get away with. I want don't want her to feel like she can't express how she feels, but I want her to learn to express her feelings in a more positive way. I've been praying and asking for advice from other mothers . . . it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like they're floundering. I'm going to try to give her more focused attention this weekend and see if that helps. Any insight or advice you can give is welcome. :)