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July 23, 2009

Pamela Camille

No matter where we go in life, no matter how old I am, or how the years begin to accumulate around us, how many birthdays are left to me or to her---she will always be this to me...

"i learned to dance from my mother"

who swung me around to fats domino and aretha franklin and all those greats that i never knew. she was spontaneous and gorgeous and perfect and mine. she pulled me into a place that stands outside the rules - she wasn't a grown up and i wasn't a kid, we were just people for the very first time. the years between us were suspended, as we danced in the living room in the middle of the day beside the vacuum cleaner and the speakers and orange shag carpet. the whole world was right here and for a minute i saw her exactly as she is, how she was, how she'll always be on the inside. she let me in, she let me see, and i never knew why but i didn't ask. as she twirled me around to make me laugh, i loved her as i'd never loved anyone in my whole little life. she was sunshine and motion and i'll never forget it."

I wrote that some years ago, trying to capture the feelings I have for my mom. Through the changing relationship, our ups and downs, our growth, our wisdom and our follies---her place in my heart stays wrapped up in that memory. I think of her, and I think of her dancing- I think of her sharing that vulnerability- that openness- with me. I remember how special that made me feel, to be welcomed in to the person that she is. I'll never forget it. It was the first moment I understood just how generous in spirit my mother really is.

Today, she is fifty. She is beautiful. She is the fresh breeze in her family. She soothes, she rejuvenates, she calms. We shudder to think what we would be without her.

I hope, one day, to be the kind of mother that incites the depths of love and loyalty and admiration that my mother does. She is truly beloved.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Fifty never looked so good.

pam.jpg

| By WonderGirl | 12:06 AM

Comments

You said it perfectly when you said these words about your mom, Shannon... ""She is beautiful. She is the fresh breeze in her family. She soothes, she rejuvenates, she calms. We shudder to think what we would be without her." I admire her, respect her, and love her more deeply than words can express!

Posted by: auntj at July 23, 2009 11:41 AM

amen... amen... and amen...

Posted by: aunt vickie at July 23, 2009 9:27 PM

Wow! Your mom is only 50! That's awesome!

Posted by: katiek at July 23, 2009 10:06 PM

Your Mom has been a part of my life for almost as far back as I can remember. She scooped me under her wing and scolded me and loved me as if I were her own. I love her dearly and hope that her 50th birthday was everything she deserves and more.

Posted by: Haley at July 26, 2009 4:44 PM

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