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December 31, 2005
Happy Last Day of 2005
I love December 31st. And not because we're ringing in a new year, oh no. Don't get me wrong, I like the fireworks and champagne and the kissy kissy. But what really makes the day great is those last minute indulgences. You know what I'm talking about. The chocolate. The not excercising. The messy closets. All those things you've sworn to change when the big ball drops. This is it- one last hoorah before the dieting and excercising and organizing. All those people who are going to quit smoking in the new year? I guarantee they're sucking 'em down today. For myself, I've worked out a rigorous chocolate schedule for the day. I plan to start out with some chocolate chip muffins for breakfast, followed immediately with a tall glass of chocolate milk. For lunch, I'm eating the last of my Reese's holiday candy, and I'm having a supper of leftover chocolate icing. Straight from the container. Good old Betty Crocker. And dessert? Well, duh.
And if that wasn't enough, I've also got a long day ahead of me of not excercising. I plan to start the morning out by sitting around, preferably in my pajamas, in front of the tv. Isn't there a parade or something? With people and floats all moving and busy? Not me. I'll watch it on the box, thank you very much. And around noon, there will be some serious, intense vegging out. Maybe even a nap. I am not making any unnecessary movements all day long- which is basically anything not involving chocolate. My commitment to this program is impressive, I promise you. I even astound myself with how good I am at not excercising on December 31st. It's an art form.
Here are other things I won't be doing on this last day of 2005:
-Writing more actual letters- the kind you have to mail. I won't pick up a pen today even if I am kidnapped and have to write the ransom letter. Not gonna do it. The nice, friendly kidnappers will just have to wait until 2006.
-Paying my bills on time. Nope. Not today, Mr. Electric Company. You'll just have to wait one more day. You'll do that, right? Wait on me?
-Taking calcium. Osteoporosis-schmosteoporosis. What's one more day? (she says quietly, so as not to attract the fates)
-Cleaning dust bunnies. 24 hours, then it's Dead Bunny Walking. Let them have these last few moments in hidden corners. Those cute, disgusting little things.
-Reading worthwhile literature. Oh no. Only the shallowest, trendiest, sensationalist drivel will do today. Plenty of time for Jane Austin tomorrow. Today, gimme Bridget Jones.
-Backing up and organizing all the pictures and files on my laptop. Daunting, people. It may take me ALL of 2006 to accomplish that one. I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna.
So.
There it is.
24 hours of decadence, indulgence, excess, and laziness. It's my special way of celebrating, see. I like to give the old year a good send off, ya know. A big farewell. Raise my glass and all that. Cheers and pass the chocolate kind of thing.
And now I'm off, to enjoy the last bit of 2005, resolution-free. Hope you do the same, and I'll see you in 2006- where we'll all be thinner, smarter, and more efficient. Oh, and better looking, too.
*wink*
Posted by WonderGirl at 12:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 29, 2005
I Don't Need Ruby Slippers
to know there's no place like home.
Aaah....
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:01 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 26, 2005
Fa La La La La
Oops! I forgot to wish my bloggie friends a Merry Christmas before hightailing it out for my festivities! Sorry about that! I hope you enjoyed every second of holiday chaos- we sure did! The kids and I are still swimming in presents and tinsel here at my folk's house- so I won't blog until the end of the week. I am required for the eating of the food. The pies. The cookies. The fudge. There simply isn't time to write in the face of such bounty.
I will roll my big, jolly self back to the computer January 1.
Have a Happy New Year!
Posted by WonderGirl at 8:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 21, 2005
Addicted to Sleep
Somehow, midnight is just minutes away. This happens EVERY NIGHT. Yeah, crazy, I know. It never ceases to amaze me, this 12 a.m. phenomenon.
We went to see Santa this evening, and do some shopping at the mall. We're certifiable for doing that four days before Christmas, with three kids. But it was fun. The kids loved the lights and music, and bustle of Christmas. Czarina was thrilled to sit on Santa's lap, but HeroBoy was PET-RI-FIED. He screamed bloody murder, and Santa took a good kick to the shin. Yikes. Hope that doesn't get him on the naughty list. King Pen is going to scan the picture for me and I'll put it up here, because it is hilarious. Poor Santa. He looks totally harassed. He's quite the trooper, that Santa. And if he wants to eat a few extra cookies- well, let him. He deserves it.
The kids were in bed about two hours past bedtime, but that's okay. It was a special occasion. I'm usually a stickler for bedtime- eight o'clock on the dot. WonderMama needs her grown-up time, ya know. But we make exceptions when Santa is involved. So now, everyone is tucked safely into their beds- even King Pen zonked out on me. Strange to be up and about all by myself. But -
I'm tired.
And my bed beckons. So, I'm tucking myself in with all due haste, before the clock strikes twelve, before my gown turns to rags and my carriage into a pumpkin.
Night, all.
Bippity, boppity.
Boo.
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:30 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
December 20, 2005
Glimpses of Life
So... angels can have red wings, right? Czarina is an angel in the school Christmas program on Friday- she's in the "angel club", as she calls it. The kids have even come up with angel names- Czarina is "Bambi Angel". Aww... Anyway- all I have is red wings. I think Satan called dibs on red a while back, so I'm not sure if that will work. I certainly don't want her loyalties in the heavenly host to be questioned. That wouldn't do at all. Wonder could I spray paint them gold? Hmm.
You don't even have to ask for pictures- you know I couldn't resist my darling dressed as an angel. And speaking of pictures, here are a few I've been meaning to put up for a while.
Czarina and HeroBoy at Thanksgiving.
Aunt Britt gets snuggles from The Duke.
And that's all for now. That took me like a thousand hours, seriously. You know I don't exaggerate.
Hey! My cocoa is cold! Dangit.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:43 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Revealing
The other day, I caught a show on VH1 called Hip Hop Videos: Sexplotation on the Set. A former video model has written a tell all book about her career as a hip-hop-shake-her-butt girl, and it isn't pretty (the book, not her butt. I'm sure her butt is just fine, but I didn't look.) Candid interviews with casting directors, rappers, members of "the enterourage", and girls themselves. There were people on both sides of the issue.
I think we all know what's been going on in that world, but nobody has spoken up about it. Nobody has called it what it is- disgusting and degrading. Money keeps mouths shut, or ears deaf. Sex sells, that's their excuse. But that doesn't make it right, and it's nice to see someone say it. You could argue that this girl is motivated by money also, selling her book - but I think it's more personal than that. But to be honest, I don't care if she IS trying to make a buck or two, I'm just glad she's brought this out.
The way I see it- we have two problems. The guys. And the girls. The guys abuse their power and fame to indulge their sexual instincts. And the girls are desperate and greedy enough to do anything for money. That's what it boils down to. It's nothing new, really. We see that played out in other ways all the time. But it shouldn't be that way, consenting adults or not. Your body should be worth more to you, and somehow, these girls are not being taught that. From their mothers, their sisters, their aunts-- somebody isn't doing their job with these girls. Somewhere along the way, they learn to see their bodies as a commodity, going to the highest bidder. For the right price, they will sell their body piece by piece, making the beautiful and unique into something tawdry and lewd. Shame on the women who teach their daughters that this is okay. Shame on them for not equipping these girls with self worth and pride and tools to move ahead in this world without sex.
And the guys- what a sorry excuse for men they are. I find it funny that they sing about being masters of their domain, kings of their world- when all they are is rich. Money will buy you gold, and booty, but it will never buy the things that make a man a man. They are slaves to their passions, and master of nothing. A man has respect for his fellow human. A man recognizes that a woman's worth comes from her Creator. He sees her as the gift that she is, as Adam saw Eve. He tends to the things in his life with a gentle hand, but a protective and firm one. He teaches and guides. The only thing these guys are teaching is that women are objects. And their students? Their sons. And their daughters. They guide their children into a life of despair. And the only thing they are protecting is their self interest. Those things won't fill you up- no matter how loud the music, how bright the bling. And this girl is one of the few brave enough to tell the truth.
I was glad to see someone who lived it stand up and say, you know what? This is bull. All of it. Garbage. I quit.
Truth destroys illusion. It is a light that reveals the decay and ugliness of our sins. And that's exactly what we need to see to make changes, not only in hip hop videos - but in our own lives as well.
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 19, 2005
Don't Read This
(Okay, I warned you. There's nothing in this one, but if you're determined to keep reading, so be it.)
Oh.
So.
Tired.
But I did it- I finished most of my shopping. Still two or three presents to pick up, but once my feet started going numb, I thought I should call it quits for the day.
Job interview went well- the job is mine if I want it. I need to think about the details, and if it will be worth it, but that ain't happening tonight, friends. My brain has shut down shop.
*blink*blink
Will write tomorrow.
Must.
Go.
Wrap.
*collapsing
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Smalltalk
Hello, Monday. Let's be friends today, okay? I know we've had a few issues in the past, but let's put that aside now. Why don't we do lunch later? Talk. Get to know each other better. Sound good?
This could be the beginning of something beautiful.
So, plenty going on today. I have my second mysterious interview this afternoon- and I'm hoping they'll include a job description. Seriously. WonderGirl needs to know these things. After that, it's my Official Shopping Day. I've got my list and checked it twice- and I'm ready to do this thing. So you can see why I need Monday to work with me.
I can't believe Christmas is less than a week away. Wow.
Well, that's all the time I have, folks. The Duke needs feeding, and I'm sure he's got a stinky present for me, too. Yay! Christmas comes early!
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:26 AM | TrackBack
December 15, 2005
A Bit of Alright
Hey! Remember me? Tall girl with the cape? Yeah, I used to blog here, once upon a time. I was as reliable as... um... Old Reliable. Now, maybe not so much.
But here I am. So let's not hold grudges, mmkay? I'm blogging, and let's just let the past be the past. We don't need to dwell on whether someone is or isn't paying enough attention to their blog... cause it's Christmas. And Santa doesn't like whiney tattle-tales.
So. Now let's have some random news.
Today, King Pen asked me, quite snarkily mind you, why I sometimes write like I'm the love child of Snoop Dogg and Buffy Summers. Because I don't actually TALK that way in person. And I'm all like, "Yo. I so totally don't do that, Boo. Swing off."
As if. Hmf.
Okay, so maybe I do. A little. But don't tell him I said that. I guess I do it because it's fun. Can't I have a little fun? Yes. Yes, I can. I do it occasionally because you all know me, and you know I'm not the type to sling the lingo around like that, and that makes it funny. Maybe just to me, though. Hmm. Anyway, I politely responded to King Pen that when he has a blog, he's welcome to write however he would like to.
To which he even more politely responded, "It's all good, Shorty. Don't be hatin'. "
And... END SCENE.
Remember I said I had a job interview today? Well, I went (hats off to me) and sat through an exhaustive and puzzling series of questions like, what kind of animal would you be and why, what's your favorite movie, and if you were any color, what would you be--
and I still don't know what the job is for. When they asked me, what do you feel qualifies you for this position, I scrambled. I was like... um... I'm organized? I, uh... like working with people? Who need help? In some form or another?
I'm so smooth.
I really, REALLY wanted to answer the questions like an absolute lunatic, just to give them something to talk about after I left. Like this:
Describe your greatest strengths and weaknesses. Okay. I'm REALLY good at delegating work to other people, and I'd say my weakness is that I'm habitually late to work. No, wait, it's really probably that I steal a lot.
What animal would you describe yourself as? Hm. That's tough. I guess I'd go with a mouse, because I'm goal oriented and I poop on myself when I get scared.
But since I wanted the job (I think), I refrained from the crazy. I gave nice, normal, and slightly vague answers, since I still don't have a CLUE what this job is. Within an hour of being home, I got a call back for a second interview next week. I don't know what they could POSSIBLY still want to know about me, after the eleventy thousand questions I answered today-- but hey. I'm game. I like to talk about me, so it works out okay. Ha.
Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that I totally busted it at the gas station the other day? Yes, dearies. WonderGirl fell on her WonderButt for all to see. I tripped over one of those concrete parking dividers, and landed flat out in a big dirty puddle. Hard. I've got bruises on my shoulder and ribs, and probably would have cried if my tear ducts hadn't been swollen shut from that stupid allergy attack. It was not my best moment, I assure you. Thankfully, nobody mentioned my dirty, swollen, whacked out appearance when I paid for the gas. Maybe they were scared. Hey, I was a little scared of me that day.
Well, before this turns into a blogging marathon, I should go. And you- well, you better get back to work. You've been slacking a little... and who knows... I might be taking your job. Seriously. I mean, are you guys hiring? Cause I'm qualified, I think. For whatever.
Okay. I gotta jet.
Peace.
(take that, King Pen.)
Posted by WonderGirl at 2:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
December 13, 2005
The Spirit of Christmas Looks Delicious
Our tree is topped with a white dove, which I think is just beautiful. I really love it.
But.
My poor, outside cat is tortured by the idea of a bird in the house, right in front of the window. His window - where he peers in at me all day long, and there's the big, plump, juicy Christmas bird.
How evil am I that I think that's kinda funny?
Posted by WonderGirl at 7:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 12, 2005
Hopped Up on Goofballs
I took some benadryl, and my face feels a little better. The rest of me ain't so bad either. (go benadryl!) I'm still kind of swollen, and a kid at the park today told me (in a rather disgusted voice) that I had "red growing from my face", which is never a good thing. But I think I'm on the mend. Which IS a good thing because-
I have an interview for a job on Thursday- no big deal, just a few hours a week at a gym. I think. There's some confusion, because I filled out such a general job application. I'm not really sure what I applied FOR. I hope they tell me. Otherwise, I might end up pulling a Costanza. Remember when he didn't know if he got the job, so he just shows up and hangs out in an office? Yeah, that's me. I'm just gonna show up and try to be... gymish. Mmkay. You know I'm just in it for the free gym membership, anyway.
Oh, did I mention that I went to the grocery store today, with my gigantic face? It was so embarassing. But when HeroBoy is out of juice, it's not pretty, so I bolted in and made as little eye contact as possible. Which was fairly easy, as it was so difficult to lift my melon head very high. Boo.
Let's see... what else? I need to get some stuff off my chest. Will you allow me? First off- Jessica Simpson, please, PLEASE stop the theatrics when you're singing. It's so cheesy. I know I'm not the first person to bring that up, but ARE YOU LISTENING? Trust me. Secondly, yeah, yeah, we get it- Brad and Angelina are better, richer, sexier, kinder, and more talented than the rest of us. Can we have a break now? And Diddy. Can you just pick one? Please? I don't even care which one. (this seems a tad hypocritical in light of my recent blog name change, but uh, shut up.) And lastly, if these loan consolidation people don't quit calling me, I am going to have a serious hissy fit. Like, I'm gonna hang up in their face. Yeah. Take that.
OOh, that's better. Thanks.
Oh wait, one more. Tom Cruise. Chill OUT, dude. You are TOTALLY freaking us out. Put the girl down, gently, and back away, nice and slow. Hands up where I can see them. Yeah. See that nice pink color in her cheeks? That's what's called breathing. No, no- not too close. Dang it, Tom, don't make me use the baton!
Okay. WonderGirl may need to reevalute her relationship with the E channel.
Well pumpkins, that's all for tonight. Yes, yes- I realize the blogging has been a little on the skimpy side lately. It always happens this time of year, with Christmas busyness and whatnot. And ya know... sometimes WonderGirl is more like WanderingAimlesslyThroughoutTheDayGirl. It happens. I'll be better. I do actually have some things to say, but I lack the attention to get it up here at the moment. Forgiveness, people. It's what Christmas is all about. Kind of. I mean, well not really, but it's about something good like that. It's about... togetherness. Or wait, I know- family. And like, how nice it is to give presents. Or that all the reindeer finally let Rudolph-- oh forget it.
You know what it's about. Don't be fooled by the trimmings.
Night, my peoples.
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Feedback
Hey guys- is my sidebar in the right place on your browser? It should be on the right side of the page, not the bottom.
Posted by WonderGirl at 8:57 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Facing the Day
So yesterday, I noticed that my face seemed a little... uneven, or something. Just not quite my normal face. I chalked it up to not drinking enough water lately, or getting enough sleep. Fine. So by lunch time, I'm even more blotchy, and now kind of puffy, too. Okay... maybe I just need a nap. I take a lovely little Sunday nap, and when I roll out of bed, it's on. I'm in a full fledged allergy attack of some kind, and my face is ground zero. I took some medication (not Benadryl), and tried to think WHAT I did to bring this on. Surely it will be better in the morning, I comfort myself. So, the alarm goes off this morning, and with great optimism, I open my eyes--- about one sixteenth of an inch. My eyes were just tiny little slits, and I've officially changed my name to PufferGirl. And my head hurts now - whether related or not, I don't know.
Wah.
I don't know what I ate or did that would cause this, if it's allergies. I haven't taken benadryl yet, but I guess I'll have to. I hate to do it, because I need all my wits about me to deal with HeroBoy and the Duke all day, but I would also like to see my face again sometime in the near future. It's better now that I've been up and about- at least gravity is trying to help a sister out. But still, it's not exactly the start to the week I'd imagined.
*fists up, and assuming position*
Okay, Monday. Let's rumble.
Posted by WonderGirl at 8:42 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 11, 2005
The ENDLESS Wheel of Time
Robert Jordan is NOT on my good list. And if you're of the nerd persuasion (geeks unite), you know why.
*sticking out tongue in R.J.'s general direction
Posted by WonderGirl at 8:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 10, 2005
Watching
The kids and I watched about half of The March of the Penguins last night, while King Pen nodded in and out. All I can say is, here's yet more proof that penguins suck. Really and truly, these are nasty, vile little creatures. There. I said it. We're all thinking it, but nobody will admit it.
Ha.
I'm just kidding. They were adorable- INSANELY adorable. What kind of monster doesn't like baby penguins? I don't want to meet the sicko who could resist that level of cuteness. I couldn't stop saying, awwwww! This movie is so cute and inspiring, and it just makes me want to take one of these poor little guys home with me so he doesn't have to work so hard to survive. He could hang out in my freezer, if I rearranged some of those frozen pizzas and broken pie shells.
I can't wait to watch the second half tonight. Fuzzy little cutie pies!
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:37 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Backstage
Okay, still working out the kinks in the design, but isn't it looking AWESOME? Originally, I had King Pen working on a graphic for me, but then I found this one and fell in love. King Pen didn't want to say it, but he was really too busy for my little project at the moment anyway. So this one came from an old comic cover, and I tweaked it some to make it suit my needs. However, I had difficulty getting everything positioned on the page the way I wanted, and my good friends at Terrablogs gave me a hand. Ron, in particular, has REALLY gone above and beyond. This is why I love Terrablogs. They host my blog for free, and are constantly doing things to improve the experience, PLUS they will step in and give you personal help that you'd normally pay big bucks for! It's one of those rare things on the internet, one of those things that make you shake your head and say, this has GOT to be too good to be true! As a blogger, I can honestly say, you will not find a blog service like this anywhere else. Thanks, guys.
So besides the design, I am slowly adding the archives back in. It is a long, tedious process, so I don't expect to be done with that anytime soon. But, I'm making progress, and eventually, the Sift will be finished, I declare it so. And it will rock.
Okay, to work!!
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:11 AM | TrackBack
December 9, 2005
The Younglings
Current pictures, courtesy of Target, and the school photographer. Witty captions, courtesy of Yours Truly.
Continue reading "The Younglings"
Posted by WonderGirl at 4:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 8, 2005
Whee!
You know your pile of laundry to fold might be getting a little out of hand when your kids can cannonball into it.
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:44 PM | TrackBack
December 7, 2005
CSS Help
Okay, geniuses. I need some help!! I'm trying to scoot my sidebar image up, to where it overlaps the banner. I've scoured the net, but my brain just won't absorb that level of code. Help!!
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
No Time!!
OH MY GOSH. Will I ever get to blog on a regular basis again? This is ridiculous.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:02 AM | TrackBack
December 6, 2005
An Aside
Hey Tuesday, quit acting like you're Friday. Cause you're not, Mister! Now come on!
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:08 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
December 5, 2005
supercaligraphic
OOhh, I'm all a-pep! King Pen did a stupendous (yeah, STUPENDOUS!) drawing last night for my website. Now, it has to be scanned and colored in Photoshop.
Another day or so and then it will be all mine! Mwahahaha! [/evil blog laugh]
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:14 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 4, 2005
Miscellany
Aaaahhh... King Pen's final week of school for the semester! Yip!! So this week, we're putting up our tree, and settling into the Christmas spirit. Old timey songs will be played, and cookies shall be baked. And, if the weather wasn't a hundred degrees, we'd drink some hot chocolate, too. But we don't play around with heat exhaustion like that down here in the South. I ran the AC today, for crying out loud. That is just shameful.
So something really gross happened the other day. And yeah, I'm gonna tell you, because I'm just nice like that. Hey, that's what you come here for, right? Anyway. I was washing laundry (on our screened-in backroom area, separate from the house), and I noticed that the pile seemed a bit... ripe. I figured there was a washcloth that had been in there too long or something. We'd been out of town for Thanksgiving, and this was my first big wash in a week or so. I lift up a few things, and suddenly a smell, no, this was more than a smell. This was the evil, noxious breath of some demonic spawn- hits me right in the face like Large Marge. Right before I nearly pass out, I see fur and yes, -gag- well, you know. I can't even type the word, it's so disgusting. Let's just say things wriggled, and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
So I ran.
Like a little girl, I ran into the house and cried for my big, strong man to make the bad things go away. (I had that specifically written into our wedding vows, for occasions exactly like this.) He didn't disappoint. Yay for marrying well!
Apparently, el kitty, the nameless cat that we feed, and that constantly stares pitifully through our windows like the Matchstick Girl - left us a little pretty. I'm sure he thought it was great, this big, juicy mole. Maybe I would have been more excited about it if I had found "the gift" within, say, a day. Cause you know, a cat's gotta earn it's keep. But two weeks later? Oh sweet heaven. That's bad. Like, nightmare bad.
Clothes were torched, remains were buried, and WonderGirl had a little toddy after the whole ordeal.
So there you have it.
The End.
Go.
Get.
Scat.
Posted by WonderGirl at 8:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
December 2, 2005
Sweet
Friday? Seriously?
WAHOO!!!
Posted by WonderGirl at 7:53 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
December 1, 2005
All Dolled Up
I'm just saying.
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack