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October 30, 2006
B00!
Internet access is spotty these days... sorry! I haven't been able to get on all weekend, but that's just as well because we were very, very busy.
We've been having computer troubles lately, so we're attempting to reformat the hard drive over the next few days. Scary business! But it has to be done. I'll be in absentia for a little while longer, but I'm coming back. So, no funny business while I'm gone! Behave, you hooligans!
Happy Halloween!
Posted by WonderGirl at 6:06 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 27, 2006
*Yawn
I don't know how I'm doing it, but I've been sleeping on my ear wrong.
That's just weird.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 26, 2006
Therapy of Gasoline
I love making trips by myself. I don't get to do it very often, but there have been a few times when I've been solo. I think the last time was when I went to see my sister in Atlanta earlier this year.
There's something exciting about compiling your favorite driving music, buying those weird road snacks that only you crave, and hitting the open road with your destination waiting off in the far distance.
Freedom! It's not that I'm desperate to escape my life or anything. It's just nice to be alone every now and then, to take care of no one else's needs but my own. To make spontaneous stops at flea markets, or road side stands, wherever my heart (or bladder) fancies! To be on a timetable of my own making, to be responsible for only one person. Me.
It's a lot about the music, too. Every road trip has a sound track, one that propels you through town after town. The momentum is different each time, slowly marking the miles, or rocking by in a blur, depending on your mood. I can turn my music up as loud as I want- I can play the same song over and over if I want to. I can, and do, sing along with gusto. I really don't care if the truckers are laughing as they pass, I'll never see them again. I am performing. The road is my stage.
Hours on the road alone are different than hours at home alone. At home, when I am alone for any great length of time, I feel certain obligations to accomplish things. Clean out the closet. Organize photographs. Something. But on the road, all you can do is drive, and think. There is nothing to produce with those hours, they are freebies.
And I love freebies.
They are hours to clean out your mind. To organize your thoughts. Time to sift through the backed up emotions and ideas in your head. Therapy measured in mile markers. I love it.
Well, that's the random thought for the day. Don't know where that one came from! I don't make the news, people. I just report it. Okay, I'm off. Have a good morning, and I'll blog later if I get the chance.
And hey, if you see me on the way to grocery store, rocking out, just ignore me. I take my road trips where I can get them.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 25, 2006
Big Love in Small Packages
Czarina made a list of baby-related topics that she wants to think about, which I've thoughtfully transcribed for you.
*Ahem
baf and dipr ckangs... Bath and diaper changes.
naptim and ckangs clos... Naptime and changing clothes.
and eding and cring... Eating and crying.
and druleg and babe buk... Drooling and baby books.
and plaing and hugin and kising... Playing and hugging and kissing.
Ah, little one. A "To Do" list of love bordered in penciled hearts, evidence of your big sister's joy before she even meets you. Aren't you lucky to have such love waiting?
Posted by WonderGirl at 5:38 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Story of A Nice Guy
Because I am tempted today to indulge in the ever present anxiety over money... I am instead going to write about how much I love my husband.
Makes sense to me. Talking about our finances doesn't change them... and often what I end up with is a thankfulness for the man in my life who shares these struggles with me. Might as well skip right to it!
I met Patrick (oooh, I've unveiled King Pen for this post!) when I was in my second year of community college. We were in the same circle of friends- a group of really funny and unique people. I don't know how I wandered into that, not thinking myself particularly witty or amusing- but wander I did, and lucky I was. Patrick was one of the ringleaders of the fiesty crew, and was responsible for getting us into and out of trouble quite a few times. We were good friends from the very beginning, but nothing else. I wasn't interested in any kind of relationship. I had an inkling that he felt otherwise, but I didn't want to spoil the dynamics of our group... the friendship we all shared was the priority at the time.
Until.
I spent New Year's Eve out at his parent's house. They have a big bonfire every year, and he invited me. We had had a falling out over Christmas, and I think he saw this as a chance to fix things... I know I did, so I accepted the invitation. I had never met his family, or his friends from home- so it felt strange making the hour drive to his house. I had an overnight bag packed to stay with people I'd never met before. I was nervous.
I needn't have been though, because his family was very welcoming. It's one of the things I loved about them right from the start- they are excellent hosts. They were warm and chatty and made a genuine attempt to include me in the festivities.
As the light of the bonfire usurped the fading sun, the rest of his life began arriving. Unfamiliar faces to me, history to him. It was a new perspective for me. I had only seen him within the confines of my world, never in his own environment, with an identity separate from the one I'd known. In the flickering shadows of the fire, he took on a new dimension. I spent most of the evening watching him, seeing him interact with his childhood comrades. The night was filled with the sounds of laughter and music, punctuated with the staccato of fireworks. But of all the noises, it was a comment I overheard from his sister that rang loudest in my ears. A spontaneous Virginia reel was under way, and Patrick was dancing with a girl, which gave me a slight, unrecognizable twinge. And then I overheard his sister say to someone, "Hm... wonder if something's up with Patrick and **** again?"
I was shocked by the flood of emotions I felt at that simple comment. Patrick- my Patrick? Liking some other girl? I felt territorial. And afraid. And more than a bit confused. The rest of the weekend passed in a blur.
As I drove home, I thought long and hard about him. He was a nice guy. And unfortunately, sometimes nice guys don't get the attention they deserve right off. It takes a little shake. And I had gotten my little shake. I suddenly saw every wonderful thing about him- how perfect he is for me. The friendship that I had valued for these months suddenly framed something much deeper. I could love this man. Maybe I already did. Another girl in his arms, an innocent dance- I instinctively knew how wrong that was. There was only one person who belonged there, and that was me. It scared me how close I almost came to passing up the best thing that had ever come into my life.
With that realization, I knew the new year meant new things. I knew that once I told him how I felt, my whole life would change. Days later, as I sat with a pen and paper, finding the words to tell him that I cared about him, I knew that nothing I had ever written before or would write again would be so monumental. Telling him I cared would open the door to my life.
And here we are now... two months away from our ten year anniversary. Ten years as the wife of this man. Ten years that I have had claim to his heart- ten years to be the partner in his joys and triumphs, in his struggles and griefs, in all his Virginia reels. I love him more today than I ever have before.
The difficulties and challenges in life seem small in the face of that love. I've already got the prize... everything else is just the details.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:59 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 19, 2006
Bubbles and Squiggles
That's what the ultrasound looked like to me yesterday. But we passed with flying colors, so all the bubbles and squiggles are in the right place! The baby was low, so low that it was difficult to see his/her head, so no good pictures. The technician checked all the internal organs and whatnot, and I have to admit, I was holding my breath. I am a little spooked by the whole process after the experience with the Duke's cyst and all the ultrasounds we had with him. But it was all clear! The baby was very mellow and cooperative during the scan, and I'm glad to have had it. And not pay for it!
I am 21 weeks, according to my dates, but the scan measured 22 weeks and 23 weeks. So, that would put my due date anywhere between Feb. 12th- Feb. 26th. Not sure which one to go with. I know the wisest thing would be to stick to my original dates- and be pleasantly surprised if the baby comes sooner. There is nothing worse than the Baby Wait... and if you happen to be overdue (as I was with Czarina by TEN days!), it's absolute misery. I prefer not to make that worse by expecting the baby earlier than it's even due.
I had a weird experience yesterday. I was on the phone with my cousin, chatting away, and I started to feel a little sick. I loosened my pants, because I am still kind of sensitive about tight things around my waist. It didn't help. I was getting more nauseous by the minute. Then I started getting shaky. When I started sweating, that's when I started worrying. I felt AWFUL! I was listening to him, and wondering what the heck was happening to me. We got off the phone because it was time for me to pick King Pen up from work. I managed to load up the kids and get us to his job- but I felt horrible. We got home and I laid down for a little while, ate some crackers, then I was better. I followed it up with some toast and applesauce for supper. I assume my blood sugar level got too low, which I will be sure to mention when I see my midwife on Monday. Hope that doesn't happen again. Ugh.
Things are going okay around here... I fluctuate a lot in my moods, which surprises me this late in the game. I expect that in the first trimester, but usually I am evened out at this point. I guess every pregnancy is different though, and I should just roll with the flow.
Okay, that's the ultrasound update- since I know a few people were waiting on it. Back to regular blogging later.
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 18, 2006
Always Remember September
Following a link from Jessie... find out what bizarre American holiday is celebrated on your birthday.
My birthday, September 11, is known as "No News is Good News Day".
Wow.
I'm so having a party for that one.
September is also Self Improvement Month, Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month, International Square Dance Month, Cable TV Month, National Bed Check Month, National Chicken Month, National Courtesy Month, National Honey Month, National Mind Mapping Month, National Piano Month, National Rice Month, National Papaya Month, and Classical Music Month.
Sweet!
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:41 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
On The Go
Boy am I glad yesterday is over! Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week. It's such a vanilla day. Limp. It has no get up and go at all, worse even than Monday, who at least embraces it's "back to business" reputation. Wednesday is much better. Wednesday is optimistic- it cheerfully reminds you all day long that you're halfway there- almost to Friday! Whoo!
So today we're up and running with the sun. We had to take King Pen to work this morning (oh the joys of owning one car!) so that I can go to my ultrasound appointment at 12:30. We're going back to pick him up at lunch, and then he's dropping me off at the clinic which is not that far from where he works. While I have the ultrasound, he's taking the kids to grab something to eat, because no children are allowed at the appointment. (Remember- it's a teaching appointment- I guess youngins would be too distracting.) Afterwards, we'll take him back to work, go home and then return AGAIN at 6 to pick him up from work. Crazy, I know. This is why I don't leave the house very often. It's just too much work! We're still working on getting a minivan, and by that, I mean we're still praying very hard because we have no idea how that's gonna happen. Four months... sweet heavens. I just don't know. We try very hard to be optimistic about our finances, but there are moments when it really gets me down. The one thing I don't want to be is hopeless, and with my increasing hormone fluxuations, that's a real battle for me.
But, it'll all work out. The sun will rise, the sun will set, and life will go on, no matter what the state of our bank account.
Well, I guess I should get to the day. Have a lovely Wednesday! And don't forget, Project Runway finale tonight... FINALLY.
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:56 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
October 16, 2006
The GingerDead Man
Out of the oven... and into your heart!
King Pen told me he saw this flick at the movie store the other day, and it sounded so crazy, I had to google it. Gary Busey... sweetie, what were you smoking?
Rotten Tomatoes had this to say about it:
"Depending on one's point of view, Gary Busey either sinks or rises to new levels of crazed weirdness in this low-budget, gore-drenched Z-movie. Busey plays deranged murderer Millard Findlemeyer, who's sent to the electric chair by brave witness Sara Leigh (Robin Sidney) after he murders her family. But his creepy, vengeful mother mixes his ashes into some homemade gingerbread mix, and when the mix winds up at the Leigh bakery, all it takes is a few drops of blood to trigger an ancient curse and bring Millard's soul to life in the form of an evil, homicidal pastry. Bloodshed ensues as Sara and her friends are forced to fight for their lives against this walking, talking, and stabbing (but oddly kind of adorable) gingerbread man."
I don't even know what to say, but wow. Killer cookies. That's a new one.
Posted by WonderGirl at 12:14 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Happy Boss's Day!
Oh, you didn't get the memo? Yes, indeedy, it's Boss's Day.
In celebration of this momentous occasion, the firm King Pen works for is having a breakfast for their bosses this morning. Every employee is bringing something -which we both forgot about until 1 a.m. last night, when he frantically woke me up with the reminder.
I think I responded with "blerghf?"
Anyway, I must have processed it somehow, because I got up with him when his alarm went off, and made these delicious little yummies. I made a few extra for the kids, too.
Mini Ham Puffs 1 pkg. (2.5 oz) canned ham Preheat oven to 350. Chop ham into fine pieces. Mix in cheese, mustard, onion, and pepper. Unroll crescent rolls and press into 1 large rectangle. Cut rectangle into 24 pieces. Put a spoonful of mixture into each square, and fold it in completely. Place the squares into a mini muffin pan, and bake for 15 minutes. |
I left off the onion, and doubled the cheese, and they were mighty fine. And so easy! They are also quite filling, so they go a long way. I ate two, and I'm very satisfied.
Okie doke... I'm off for now. Must use this morning momentum wisely!
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:10 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 15, 2006
Alive and Well
Oh my GOODNESS, is it too soon to say I'm tired of being hormonal? Let's see... I'm 21 weeks, 19 more to go, and let me tell you, I'm all over the Richter scale. I don't let it show much (and King Pen agrees, don't you, honey?) but I am soooo sensitive. It's irritating. I mean, I know I'm not being reasonable, but it doesn't seem to slow me down much. I might have to give my brain a time-out. Sit it in the naughty chair or something till it straightens up.
Other than my paranoid hormonal rages, things are going really well in the pregnancy department. I feel so good! Okay, there's the heartburn, that's true. And a few other miscellaneous aches and pains. But generally speaking, I'm in a right good mood about baby #4. The baby is about ten inches long now, and kicks hard enough to wake me up at night sometimes. I still am not showing much... I don't usually until about 7 months. I feel like I've got quite the little pooch, and I'm proud of it, till somebody rolls their eyes when I tell them I'm pregnant. I'm not complaining- I know I'm fortunate to delay those super heavy pregnant days that come nearer the end. The less of those, the better! But still. Sometimes you want the belly to prove the point. I am pregnant. Now get me some chocolate.
I have an ultrasound on Wednesday... and can I just take a moment here and squeek happily-- it's free. The midwife I am seeing doesn't have an ultrasound machine, so she uses a medical school where they are training technicians. The teacher is in the room with the student while they do the scan, so I am still getting a proper ultrasound. And it's free! At five hundred dollars a pop, you can imagine why I'm hugging myself right now. I'll get to see the peanut, and I won't have to sell one of my kidneys to do it. Yay!
Well, I have a nap to take book to read, so I'm off. Enjoy your Sunday afternoon!
Posted by WonderGirl at 5:19 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 14, 2006
Shortest Blog Post Evah
Feeling better! Yay!
Posted by WonderGirl at 9:51 PM | TrackBack
October 12, 2006
Wallowing
Hey, were you aware that being sick is no fun? It's true. I know. Shocker. Being sick... bites.
I'm hurtin'.
And feeling a bit sorry for myself.
*grumble*
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:56 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 11, 2006
Sincere Desire of My Heart
I wish, oh how I wish, that you could buy only the delicious nut covered raisins from Raisin Nut Bran. The bran flakes really just get in my way.
If I was rich, I'd buy boxes and boxes and then have my peons meticulously sift through each one, extracting the nuts for my eating pleasure.
I would then donate the flakes to the poor.
See? I understand philanthropy. With great power, comes great responsibility. Etc. etc.
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 10, 2006
Really Gets My Goat
-Sigh-
Yeah, I started with a sigh. And I'll tell you why. Ya know what gets old? People who are totally self-involved. I try not to let it bother me, but when you have somebody in your life that never asks about YOU, it just gets tiresome. I try to be patient and realize that everyone is at different stages in life, dealing with their own issues and whatnot, but every now and then I get kind of fed up with it. And no, it's not any of you out there-- you're all cool.
What else can you assume about a relationship like that but that it's all about them? You're obviously more interested in them than they are in you. Do they care about what's going on in your life? Wouldn't they inquire after you, your kids, your husband, SOMETHING, if they cared? I get virtually nothing from this person. No indication that they are even particularly happy to hear from me. If somebody else was coming to me with this problem, I'd say, cut your losses and move on to other, more productive relationships in your life. But there are people in your life you just can't do that with. So what to do? Try not to take it personally, and just suck it up? Eh. I don't know if this person realizes that they come off this way... that their lack of interest feels like a lack of love sometimes.
Anyway, pardon my little irritation. I try not to be cranky on this blog, because negativity begets negativity. But sometimes... it sorta leaks out.
Okay, I'm out like Paris Hilton in a spelling bee.
(Aw... that wasn't nice. I'm sure she'd make it through at least a few rounds. There, there, Paris... don't cry. You're an heiress- you can pay somebody to do your spelling for you, okay?)
Posted by WonderGirl at 12:08 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 9, 2006
Aw, She's Using Big Words
I love listening to people speak when they have a good vocabulary. Ya know the people I'm talking about. They use words you know, but in a different way than you expect. Like letting an idea "marinate" for a while. I heard that once and it stuck with me... it's such an interesting way to use that word. Or people who use words you know, but for some reason, are rarely spoken in daily conversation. How do I do that? My vocabulary is decent- but it doesn't occur to me to employ all the unique and delicious words I know. How can I change that?
Reading helps- I know. But WonderGirl is a BusyGirl. I honestly don't have a lot of time to read, or write. Or sometimes brush my hair. I'm okay with that - it's a temporary condition. (well, not the hair thing. That's just laziness.) But, eventually, life won't be so hectic, and I'll pick up all those things again. It's nice to know that after the kids are bigger, those interests will be waiting on me. That's a new realization for me. When I turned thirty, I panicked a little, thinking of all the things I want to do and haven't done. But in the last year, I have begun to see things a bit more long term. It's not about completing this huge "To Do" list. There are moments in your life when you are able to fully concentrate on nourishing your own interests and needs. And that's great. It's necessary. But then, there are moments when it's time to give back, to focus on enriching the lives of others. Right now, I'm growing a garden of kids. I'm providing fertile soil for four little sprouts. When these days are gone, I will once again look to enriching my own ground, with my own interests and hobbies.
The amazing thing is, that then I'll enjoy not only the fruits of my own field, but also the blooms of four other unique gardens.
But I digress. (And let's be honest- I totally overworked that analogy.)
Language is different than a hobby, though. It's not necessarily physically time consuming- I think it's more of recycling and rethinking the words you already know. It's just a matter of tapping into them. And not being afraid to throw them out there, despite the occasional raised eyebrow.
I've been signed up for Dictionary.com's word of the day forever now. Maybe in an attempt to polish my vocabulary, I should make a point of actually using the words and not just absorbing them. Use the word of the day in a conversation or something. Today's word is braggadocio, which means empty boasting.
Oh, goodie. Nothing like dropping three dollar words to get yourself accused of braggadocio.
-sigh-
Well, I'll give it a go. Let me know if I seem smarter in the next week, okay? Or prettier. (Hey, who knows what the side effects will be? It could happen.)
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 8, 2006
That's Not Relaxing.
I checked out a book on joyful childbirth from the library on Saturday, and it came with a meditation cd. So I find a quiet place in the day- the kids are playing- King Pen is jogging- I'm all comfy and relaxed on the bed. I pop in the cd, and begin to listen to the soothing, calming voice of the narrator, telling me relax, breathe deep, etc. etc. I'm working on my zen.
But something... uh, what is that?
No, relax.
Shhh.
But--- ew---
Focus. Come on- inhale, exhale.
Oh, ick. It's B.O.
The cd smells like B.O.
That is so gross. And not all relaxing. No way am I deep breathing that funk.
I don't even want to know the how or why.
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:35 PM | TrackBack
October 6, 2006
I Couldn't Resist
Memes are entirely too easy. And I just had to know. (David infected me.)
1. SPY NAME: (middle name + current street):
Lee Vestavia
2. MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/mother + your favorite candy):
JoAnn Reeses
3. GAMER TAG: (favorite color + favorite animal):
Green Otter
4. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + birthplace):
Lee Greenville
5. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet + street you grew up on):
Frodo Bradford
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The”, favorite color, car your dad drives):
The Green Maxima? The Green Altima? I forget.
7. ACTION HERO NAME: (name of character in last film you watched, last food you ate):
Slevin Bagel
Cool.
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:41 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
October 5, 2006
Ouch
My sons just tried to remove me from my eyeball. Seriously. I guess they are attempting to balance out that third eye in the back of my head...
I was putting something into a trunk, and they made a joint decision to close it on Mommie's head. Nice. One of the metal brackets made a beeline for my eye socket, and the pain nearly knocked me out. I think they hit a nerve or something- because I got this immediete, piercing headache, and I just sat there and cried for a few minutes. I'm okay now, though. Nothing pierced the skin- my eyelid was closed, thankfully. Vision is just fine.
Which means I ain't taking my eyes off those kids again... I don't trust 'em. They've got some secret pact or something.
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:39 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 4, 2006
Admission
I just made myself a peanut butter sandwich for lunch.
And I seriously considered putting chocolate chips on it.
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:50 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Mystery Science Theater 3000
I have long been a fan of MST3K. So when I come across one I haven't seen yet, I squeel like a little girl. I particularly love the Shorts. This one I stole blatantly from an old pal N8dawg, and I make no apologies for it whatsoever. He kinda had it coming. (and yes, n8dawg is a white rapper. No, I'm kidding. He's a lawyer. Who raps on the side.)
Oh, and I hear another old friend of ours just recieved the complete DVD collection of MST3K. (Matt, you can be expecting a call from us very soon. Let the mooching begin.)
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:23 PM | TrackBack
Meandering
Czarina is doing some worksheets, and I'm taking my smoke break.
Yeah.
You heard it.
Okay, so I'm not lighting up, but to be honest, a little nicotine would hit the spot right now. (Sorry, Ma. I'm not actually gonna do it. I'm just saying.)
Czarina took a test a little while ago, and she made an A, but she missed a few. And it kills her. Really, truly, she's crushed when she misses an answer. I don't know what to do about it- she gets very upset and cries and it almost ruins her day, at least for a few hours. I understand that she's sensitive and hates to disappoint herself, but at the same time, I want her to be able to handle those emotions appropriately. Thoughts?
And while we're discussing child rearing and whatnot... let's talk about the Duke. Now, I realize he's not quite 18 months old yet. And I'm all about letting children go to each developmental step in their own time. But the kid will not hold a sippy cup. I put it on his tray and try to walk away, and he just bursts out crying. He will continue to cry big, desperate tears until I hold the dang thing for him. It's like feeding a baby goat. I know, I know, you'll say, just don't do it for him... and you're probably right. But you don't understand what I'm facing over here. He will ruin an entire meal. He'll cry himself into throwing up. And when he does try to hold it, he won't tilt it up to get anything out of it- so he thinks he can't do it. Argh!
HeroBoy isn't giving me any trouble this morning, which is fortunate.
And I'm okay, I'm not having a meltdown- I'm just venting a little.
In other news, I've been doing a lot of reading and research about natural childbirth lately. I've mentioned that I'm seeing a midwife- as I did with my first child. So it's not unfamiliar territory for me. But, it's been a while, so I'm getting back into the groove by reading everything I can get my hands on. I keep coming across something called "hypnobirthing' in my reading, and it has really piqued my interest. Have you guys heard of it? These women swear to nearly painless, unmedicated births using these techniques of deep relaxation and affirmations. And hey, I'm all for PAINLESS. So I'm looking into it. I've got my eye on the books/cds on ebay, and I think I'm gonna go for it. I will definitely let you know how that works out.
Czarina's birth was incredible- I mean, it was hard, it hurt- but it was so empowering. It changed me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I never knew what I was capable of, what beauty and strength there is in childbirth, until I experienced it, full throttle. It was an intensely spiritual moment for me. With HeroBoy and the Duke, I had hospital, epidural births- and while they were amazing and special in their own way- (how could it not be?), it didn't change me the way Czarina's birth did. I want that again, especially knowing this is most likely my last chance. I want to experience again that profound understanding of what a woman's body can do, what I can do. It's hard work, but the reward is worth it. I'm actually looking forward to labor and childbirth. Yeah- I'm seriously saying that. Crazy, huh?
Anyway- that's not to say that I'm anti-epidural- I'm not gonna get up here and blast the medical field or anything like that. We each make choices about what kind of birth we want, and that's okay. But I hate to think that women might make their choices out of fear- or doubt- or because they don't know there are other options. You are capable, the pain won't kill you, and the sense of accomplishment will change you forever. Nobody wants to be in pain. I get that. Shoot- I don't want to be in pain either. But childbirth is more than pain, so so much more. I wouldn't have known it if I hadn't taken the chance and believed in my body.
Again- thoughts? Feel free to chime in.
Okay, smoke break is way over. I gotta scoot. You may talk amongst yourselves.
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:58 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 3, 2006
Becoming Silver
I watched a show last night about a woman with twins, who then became pregnant with sextuplets. Oh. my. goodness. It's stuff like that that makes you appreciate how minor your own challenges are. I've actually been reminded of that quite a bit lately, from different places. I am so grateful for my healthy brood- children who are all developmentally and physically sound. I'm grateful that they haven't been exposed to hardships, they've been protected and sheltered by hands other than mine. No matter how diligent you are as a parent, in the end, their safety lies in God's hands. Just look at the Amish school shooting. These are parents who go to great lengths to protect their children from secular influences, to raise them in an environment free from the trappings of the modern world. And still, even that wasn't enough. I guess you could take from that a sense of helplessness, of futility... but I'd rather not. I'd rather see it as a reminder to pray faithfully to the one who controls all things. I'd rather see it as a reminder to be humble, to remember that we are not masters of our universe... and thank God for that. We muck things up terribly when we are in charge. I'd rather believe a smarter, more benevolent being orchestrates and maintains the world than me.
It doesn't diminish the loss, the pain- it doesn't make it okay. It's not what a grieving parent wants to hear... God is in control. That seems to make it worse, doesn't it? Well, if God is in control, why would He do this? Why would He let bad things happen to good people? Why would He let a monster amongst the lambs? It's an age old question... one that makes or breaks the Christian walk for so many people.
But the truth is, while God is in control, He still chose to give us free will. And not just free will to do good things, make good choices. He gave us free will to sin, to make bad decisions, to hurt and maim and kill. And that's what this man did- he exercised his free will to do evil. But- and this is a big BUT-- God uses all things to work good for those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) Even the horrendous, unthinkable, unbearable losses and pains in life. God has promised to make good of the evil that touches our lives.
But not all bad things happen because of someone's poor choices. Sometimes bad things happen that have nothing to do with a person's free will. Disease. Hurricanes. Floods. What about those things? Does He control those things? Well, yes, in the sense that God is sovereign in every way. He could stop a tornado in it's tracks (and He does sometimes); He could wipe away all traces of cancer miraculously from someone (and He does sometimes). He can, and DOES intervene all the time to save us during natural disasters, freak accidents, etc. But sometimes He doesn't. And there's a reason. We may not know it, or understand it, but we can trust in that same verse... that God works ALL things to the good of those who love Him. He uses tragedies and challenges to refine us like silver. The imperfections and weaknesses are burned away in the hottest fire... and we emerge strong and pure. With each pass into those flames, we become more Christ-like, and thus, more pleasing to God.
He never promised that only good things will happen. He didn't promise we'd always understand. But He promised He would be a resting place for us. He would renew us, and bless us, and give us all the things we need, whether it is peace, forgiveness, justice--- He will provide. It is His covenant with His people. He knows exactly what you need, and He will be it for you.
Anyway... I say these things not to you, really, but to myself. Because the world doesn't make sense sometimes. And when it doesn't- when we seem surrounded on all sides by bad things, bad people, the answers are found in Scripture, in His promises to us.
We have only to claim them.
Posted by WonderGirl at 1:38 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 2, 2006
Free Stuff is Good and Silence is Golden
Saturday morning, we went to a little Fall festival right up the road. They had pony rides, bouncy moonwalks, music, prizes and food... all for free. Yup. You heard it. Free- my favorite word. The only thing you had to pay for was a hotdog (.50) if you wanted it, or a ribeye steak sandwich ($5). They did Halloween tattoos, free massages, and demonstrations from the local dance school. There was a band playing some oldies and lots of other little booths set up with free stuff (like popcorn, and rootbeer floats!) It was sponsored by the chamber of commerce, and local businesses. Wow! I thought for sure we'd at least have to pay a buck here and there for things, so it was really nice not to have to. The kids had a blast. And I had another thing to add to the growing list of reasons I love this town.
The rest of the weekend was pretty normal.
I shopped for my journal Saturday afternoon, and spent an hour or two just browsing the stores by myself, which is a real treat. I enjoyed the quiet. One of the things I had to adjust to when I became a mother was the sense of being "touched out". Having babies crawling on you, hanging from you like monkeys, snuggled up on the couch, kissing, drooling, patting, just generally trying to crawl into your skin all the time... well, I had to learn to expand my threshhold for physical touch. And I did. I adjusted. It doesn't bother me at all anymore. Mama Possom's got nothing on me.
Now, however, the challenge has changed into my ability to process noise. By the end of the day, my ears are bone-tired. They've listened to endless questions, crying, fussing, laughing, squeeling, yelling, singing, and baby blabbing. Not to mention the normal sounds of the day, like music, the telephone, the garbage truck, t.v., the teapot, the washing machine, and adult conversation with King Pen. Oh, how that list could go on. So having a few hours to myself, with muted, simple noises of my choice... well that's heaven. I wallow in quiet.
I must be getting old.
Anyway... so that was Saturday. Sunday involved the usual helter skelter church stuff, and a lovely, two hour afternoon nap.
It was a great weekend.
Well, I can't ignore the dirty diaper smell anymore, so I better go. Doody calls. Hahaha.
Sorry.
Posted by WonderGirl at 10:36 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
October 1, 2006
Dear Diary
Journal search: victory! I found a really beautiful journal in a fresh green and brown color scheme- but no matter what I did, I couldn't get a good picture of it. It's actually really quite lovely. It has an asian feel to it (are those cherry blossoms?), and the cover has a silk fabric texture. I love it. It's rather blah in the picture, though. Hmf.
Anyway, there ya have it. Thanks for all the great journal ideas, by the way! I had already bought this one before I read them all. I'll keep your advice in mind next time, though!
Posted by WonderGirl at 11:17 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack